stillneedawish | ♐ April 23rd [ locked to friends; hackable ]

(( ooc: "friends" here is basically "anyone she's had positive conversations with", but if you're unsure feel free to say your character just hacked the entry. (: ))

Thanks to that virus, I know what's wrong with the time on my world now. A lot of the things I knew when I was in Scratch-san's body are blurry now, but I remember this. My world, everyone here... we keep repeating the same month over and over again, in some kind of loop. That's why I can only ever remember it being March or April, even though so much time has passed on the community.

I don't know if there's anything I can do to stop it. I... I mean, I know that there's something I shouldn't do that might help. But I also know that something might happen where I can't avoid it.

Ah, anyway, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like to ask everyone a favour. If... I mean, whenever the loop starts again for me, could you remind me about it? It looks like I forget everything I find out about my own world whenever it starts again, so you'll have to remind me about the time loops.

There's just one more thing. When you tell me about the time loops, could you tell me something else? Homura-chan's tried to tell me over and over, but for some reason in every timeline so far it hasn't worked. Since I stopped being in Scratch-san's body it's all become fuzzy again, so I can't remember why, but I know it's important. So when you tell me about how time's so strange here, make sure you also tell me not to accept a deal from someone on my world, no matter how good it might sound. Please?

I know it's an inconvenience, but if enough people tell me about it, I'm sure I'll believe you all! After all, we're friends, so there's no reason for me not to. It's just... I can't do anything about it if I don't know that it's happening. And I'm tired of not being able to do anything to help.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm glad to hear that.

Oh, I nearly forgot to ask--are you alright, after all those viruses?

Mm, I think so. I had a lot to think about after I was back in my own body, and a lot of it was a shock... but after thinking about it, I've decided that in the end, no matter how horrible some of the things I found out about were... I think it might have helped. It would have taken me a lot longer to figure out about the time loops by myself. And maybe now this'll help Homura-chan a little, too.

What about you? Are you okay after last week?

I'm glad it helped you. At least something good came of it all.

As for me...hm, I'll be fine. The memories of most of the timelines I went through are a little vague now, which is probably for the best. The other viruses I dealt with are nothing I am too concerned with anymore.

Yes. Sometimes I think that, no matter how annoying or even cruel the viruses can be sometimes, they can also help us, too. It makes it difficult to know if we should still try to stop them or not, though...

Okay... that's good to hear. But - wait, you mean that your group of magi in the virus had to deal with repeating timelines as well?

You're right. If not for these viruses, I never would have known what to do in order to avoid a miserable future.

I was the one repeating them. Repeating and jumping through time in general--it's a little confusing if I try to think of it now. But I was trying to find a timeline that could provide me with a happy ending. One in which I wouldn't be betrayed or die alone or anything like that.

Ah, it sounds selfish when I phrase it like that.

It's a strange sort of contradiction, isn't it?

It's okay to be a little selfish sometimes. And well, I guess a lot of wishes would be, right? Depending on how they happened. I think deep down, everyone wants a happy ending of some kind to come out of their wish, no matter who or what they wish for.

Homura-chan, though... Nagisa-chan said that things keep repeating for my sake. I don't understand why, but I don't want everything she's done to go to waste anymore. ... mm, can I ask how many timelines you ended up repeating?

...I lost count. Hundreds at the very least--enough to first narrow down one time period as promising between then and the time from which I originated, then several more to account for any mistakes--getting myself nearly killed, others turning into witches, and so forth.

I wish I could say I did it for reasons as selfless as that. I'm not often that selfish, truly. I was simply...lonely. I suppose I am normally, sometimes.

I - really? But that sounds horrible.

People will do a lot of things when they're lonely, huh.

I'm fortunate that I can no longer remember much of it. I imagine recalling it all might drive me insane. [He sighed, running a hand through his hair.]

I suppose they will, yes. Considering the point in time at which I contracted in that world...I am not surprised I acted like that.

Yeah... I imagine it would, too.

... they pick moments like that deliberately, don't they?

If I had to guess based solely on my virus-influenced experience? Yes.

It's not right. None of it's right, but choosing moments like that... it's unforgivable.

Preserving the stability of the universe is a respectable goal, but...not at the price of so much cruelty and suffering.

Eh? The universe? [ ... yep, guess what explanation for the incubator's actions hasn't come up in any of her timelines yet. ]

...You...didn't know? [Oh, hell.]

That's never come up in any of the timelines up to now. At least, I don't remember it.

Honestly, I am having trouble recalling the details at the moment, but I vaguely remember the Doctor speaking about it in a few timelines. Something about...the universe only has so much energy to operate on, and contracting Puella Magi replenishes that energy, therefore maintaining the universe and allowing it to continue functioning. I'm sure transforming into witches factored in somehow as well.

I'm sorry, I am sure that was a poor explanation. I do not understand it quite as well now that the virus has worn off.